I have always been one to ask forbidden questions in any context, but answers are few and I am confused. The little things blow my mind. I was present when someone talked about their new mattress and my first response was one of complete longing for my own brand new, comfortable, pillow-topped, say goodbye to all backaches mattress of my own. Then I wondered how I should think about a new mattress when so many in the world don’t even have a mattress to begin with.
Perhaps I should not want a new mattress.
Or is it that I should only want a new one when the old one that I do have has springs poking all the way through?
Should I have a mattress at all?
Should the mattress be okay, as long as I am not spoiled about it and don’t spend this much time obsessing about a material possession?
I sat in my yard the other day and was utterly astounded that we own a van. How amazing is that? I am the owner of a huge vehicle with which I can go practically anywhere! Yet, in some dark recessed place within myself I think that I need it and well, frankly, that I deserve it.
So, is the van okay as long as I don’t take it for granted?
I know that giving it all up is not the answer, but I fear that I do not know the extent of my slavery to possessions.
Is it okay for me to spend a majority of my time, energy, and brain space on financial security? Someone told me once that I try too hard. But I see too much complacency around me and within me not to. To be honest I don’t want money to be my focus.
In Africa the tribal language I was exposed to had no word for future tense. The children would dig in our garbage pit pulling out all the valuable tins, which we had thrown out, to use for hauling water. When shown how to collect rain water, they just walked away in disbelief to wash their hair in the well, no thought on tomorrow when they would have to drink it; soap and all. I wonder how they would feel if they joined my prayer group as I bemoaned not having any money. (Oh, by the way, we don’t have any money.) How would they react when they saw my lovely mattress and my huge van?
It takes faith.
How far do we take faith?
Faith I am not sure that I possess. Faith that says I can leave a job, because it is solely a source of money and not a source of using my gifts. Faith to leave my kids with my husband so that I can get a job that uses my gifts (even though it will pay nothing compared to what we need). Faith that says my husband can leave a secure job to make much less because he is neglecting his family for the sake of a paycheck.
What is need?
Faith perhaps to live in a smaller house, so we are not living above our means. I’m not sure that our big house is a gift in the way that we think. Perhaps it is here to break me. Break me into living in a two-bedroom house with my family of six to lift some of the financial burdens. That in of its self is not the answer, but would I in faith be willing to or only if forced to and then how much would I complain?!
In Joshua people were terrified when commanded to go into the promised land and KILL all the men, women, and children! They were afraid of the large men there. What did they do? They complained, and God struck them DOWN! The ones who started it immediately and the ones who followed died over time without ever seeing the promised land. I would have been STRUCK down. I am far to secure and busy to go and kill a city full of men bigger than I, let alone do my dishes without bitching!
Not using my talents in leu of a pretty paycheck is to me burying them in a field for safe keeping. For, say, when the Lord returns and makes the world right, so that then I can use them. Perhaps he will say, “I am glad that you did not try too hard.”
I know that my husband and I could live far below our current means and still be far richer than a majority of the world. And here in America, we are far below poverty level.
Good honest questions.
Isn't it amazing that eventhough we live below the poverty level and on the outside people view us as having nothing to brag about we can still spend foolishly and be prideful. I was struck with pretty much the exact same things that you were talking about. We are taught to contribute to the needs of the poor, sometimes I do, more often than not I go and get a soy latte and bemone the fact that I have no money. May Christ shine ever bright and may his face be all that we long for and HE who is able to keep us from falling and keep us blameless..let Christ alone be our satisfaction. Aber wrote a song and one of the lines was something to the effect of "I still have the bruise upon my neck of his tender rod." May we realize that sometimes when he "deprives" us it is indeed only for our good, for "He who is faithful in very little will be faithful in much~matthew (somewhere..I think 11 I never was good at the references of scripture.)) I love you.
karla
Yes. Good questions. There've been many times when I couldn't do what I loved (like travel by train with a maid and a valet who met me at my destination to take me to a hotel room with a large tile bath or just read a good book) that I've had to learn to love what I do. Does this make sense? But in the shadow of tsunamis it's hard give ourselves permission for anything less than total devastation.
I wonder - must we use our gifts vocationally in order to use them faithfully? I'm sorta kinda leaning towards a general "yes," but I'm not sure. I am eager to hear other's thoughts.
I found it interesting that the African tribal language did not have a word for the future tense...I am often reminded that we are to live today fully, being content and even joyful in our service to God, I will have to admit that I am often planning each week in advance hoping for it to pass as quickly as possible and filling the seemingly unbearable moments with any material object that may keep myself emotionally afloat...pathetic.
I want to reply to this but my mind is running so many places that it may explode. First, great entry! There are SO many things in here to discuss! Second, I can relate with not wanting to focus on financial security and trust that the Lord will provide for my family - He always has in the past what in me makes me think that He won't tomorrow? Me of little faith! Third, materialism is such a disease! I get so angry when I hear other people complaining they are poor but driving aroung in a BMW and depressing to realize that I'm that person! We're not driving a BMW but we live in an apartment that is fully furnished with nice stuff and while living in that house I think of ways to make more money so we I can have whatever I want! Fourth, I'm not sure if one needs to use their gifts in a vocation or not. I'm leaning towards a no but maybe it's because I worked a job that didn't use my gifts, I was miserable most of the time there but God has used it and grown me to have different gifts and skills. I have had a job that I LOVED (as much as you can love a job) I mean this was the kind of job that I was a natural at, it clicked with me, but felt convicted about working somewhere that I'd be selling kitchens that would cost $100,000.00!
Sember,
It's taken me awhile to get to your website, but I'm here. I'm often (as we've talked) plagued by the same thoughts, questions, frustrations. I use the gift God has given me to feed my family and for that I am thankful but mostly ithink of my job in terms of finances and not the gift that God has given me to share with others. I was massaging someone recently and I must abmit iwas not particularly focusing on God or my client and God kicked me in the butt when during the middle of the massage my client said he was thinking about how to pray without ceasing and how difficult that is to do, but for the entire massage that was what he was focusing on. he was praying for me and my family among other things and I wasn't even paying attention.
Yes I am thankful that I can make money with my gifts, and no I don't think that all the gifts God gives us are financialy profitable but how sad it is that more times than not it is financial stress that drives me and not my love, joy, thankfulness, and humility before and for God.
Faith is such an easy thing for me to think I have until I'm tested. And there's so much faith and wisdom needed to know how we should be living our lives as christians in this world. It is apropriate for me to work hard to provide for my family, but it's wrong for me to work so hard for my family that I don't have time or energy to serve God's people in any other way. And what is need, and what is desire. Glenn and I don't think of ourselves as materialistic, and in comparison to a large part of Amerrca we're not. But we are so rich and so self focused compared to most of the world. I guess we should think together how do we honestly make wise changes?
I'm reading The Upside-Down Kingdom by Donald Kraybill right now, thinking about O.T. Jubilee, cancelling debts, releasing slaves, etc and how we should live in Jubilee daily. Pay more for items than the asking price, hire ex-cons,consume less. . . Listen to Jesus: "If anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give your cloak as well; and if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile. Give to everyone who begs from you and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you." Matt 5
I appreciate your openess and I'm a little wigged out by how your blog looks like my thoughts lately. Thanks.
Wow. Thank you so much everyone for sharing. I wish that we could all get together for an indepth discussion?!? You could all fly, drive, and walk in right?
Lynn: Sounds like a great book. So out of the norm, even for Christians. I fear that we do not know the extent to which we conform to what the world tells us is important or is our 'right' as Americans. If any of you have more thoughts, please email them to me.