Falling Sparrows: February 2005 Archives

Playing God

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One can tell from reading some of my last entries that playing God isn’t working out for me. As my dad says, ‘I suppose you fell pretty short.’ Yes, that is true. I crashed and burned and the world said ‘Thank goodness she isn’t God!’

My fourteen-year-old friend and her boyfriend came by to see me. The rumors have turned out to be true: she is pregnant and married as of two weeks ago. They explain to me patiently, as though I am three years old, that of course the marriage is legal, the boyfriend had to sell his Play station in order to pay for the marriage certificate. I know that God came and sat with us on the back porch as we talked about their plans. The peace and confidence I felt, could not have come from within myself. I asked if I could pray over them; they responded with a quick yes, closed their eyes, and bowed their heads. For so long I have thought about how to keep her from getting pregnant, how to keep her in school, how to get her to listen about Jesus, and worst of all how to save her soul. And here she was. And I knew in that moment that all I could do, and all God wanted me to do, was to meet her there exactly where I was and exactly where she was. And then I prayed. And that’s it. After all that work, that little prayer was the most that I have ever done for her.

There is freedom in knowing that God will use me, but He doesn’t need me.

I read this post on the Red Clay Girls BLOG. It was beautiful and I love how at times I find random things that apply to where I am at.